Ricmond AOG buzz

from friends,…Let there be no confusion.  Senior Pastor David Doery is a modern dictator.  At a recent Vision night, a bubbly funfest evening where core believers gather every 3 months, with first-timers receiving chocolate bars, he said as much.  But he used spiitual terms, of course.  He said he was so happy to be part of a Church where his decisions were accepted by the pastoral team without dissent.   Think African dictatorship/ Divine Right cartoon…

Last year and this year, RAOG has held a weekend Community Blitz where the Church renovates a few classrooms, garden, etc for a local government (cash-strapped) school. Of course, one big aim is to please the local Yarra Council whereby the 2000-strong car-adoring Church uses free Council land for a Carpark for its Services.  (The RAOG building has a few carspaces). Says CEO David Doery,  “We are NOT just a parking problem!!” So the Community Blitz is really political to keep sweet with the Council.  Smart pentecostal cookies!

 Then there was the Fast. RAOG called ‘Breakthrough’.  The idea was to give up smething – anything – for 21 days.  Modern Pentecostals that we are, we gave up hardcore items such as Facebook, coffee, or TV.  Setting a (poor)n example to the minions, CEO Doery gave up coffee, media and one day of food (but not liquids) a week. Missions head Georgina Butler fasted ALL 21 days.

We had 3 guest speakers for the period.  They made a killing in ‘love offerings’.  Ah, to be a travelling evangelist.  $pirit-filled one!!

  Each speaker spoke at both weekend Services – Bruce Hills, Tim Hall and Jimmy Mutebi.  BH is the son of very popular former RAOG CEO Phil.  After a small stay at Richmond, Bruce moved to the sun at Garden City Christian Church, formerly Mt Gravatt AOG, Brisbane.  It has 6000 donors, er, attenders.  in mid-December, Bruce Hills announced his shock resignation from Garden City.

If Bruce Hills was well and truly on the plump side. Tim Hall was in the SUMO category!!  Obesity is OK in megachurches.  (eg Obama-inaugurator Rick Warren of 5-campus Saddleback)  Aussie-born slob Hall told us that he was raising money to have a mass crusade in INDIA  Can you imagine all these poor, illiterate, food-deprived Indians seeing a fat WASP sloth on stage??  Accept Jesus and be as supersized as me!!

 There is a name for such converts to Christ – Rice Christians 12J immy Mutebi also knows where his bread is buttered.  He is African but works in American $$.  Of course, this showman never speaks about politics or injustice in Africa (eg Kenya, Congo) or burning Zimbabwe.  Who gives a damn about war & poverty? i’m an entertainer.  Man, just gimme the love offerin’.

November 2008 comes. World Economic Chaos…  Didn’t stop RAOG  raising about 450,000 dollars in a 3-week blitzkrieg.  Wow!!  VeryPowerful airconditioners mercilessly sucked the $ out of pockets and handbags.  Extensive Church renovations were in progress, including (naturally) a bigger CEO office.

      Money  grows  on  pentecostal  trees.

           Just  shake …      __ 

AWESOME HAILSONG SONG CONTEST

The HAILSONG SONG FACTORY, in collusion with Planetsnakers, is looking for the next Mikey Guglielmucci (now on sick leave).

We are having a SONG CONTEST!!!  FUN!!  FUN!!  FUN! As AOG youth leaders – trust ’em! – always say,It’ll be awesome.”

Right. We need alternatives to the words to HEALER (now disfellowshipped). We need any creative input into the fiasco.

We need to show that we have even more imagination than Pastor Michael Gugli Mucho.

This is <U>your</U> chance to outshine Australian Idol/Paradise AOG-crooner Guy Sebastian. OK, that mightn’t be hard! You can be HAILSONG’S next Youth guru. But let’s recall those Lyrics blasting the AOG universe and see Conman Mike at his best.

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THE ENTRIES ==>> HILLSONG’S MEMORY HOLE (a video commentary)

RUBBER HOSE

MICHAEL GUGLIELMUCCI COVER-UP

HILLSONG LATEST RELEASE (co-entry)

This entry is from Brianna Boston of newly named suburb Balkam Hillsong:

Wheeler Dealer

You stage my every moment
I have so much disease
I am the Greatest Liar
To walk on HILLSONG seas

O Brian     [with Passion]
I trust in you
I trust in you

I believe
My Wheeler Dealer
I believe
You are all I need
I believe
You’re my fortune
I believe
You’re never enough for me
Hillsong, you’re all i need

Nothing is impossible for me
Nothing is impossible
Nothing is impossible for me
I’ll surely prosper in your hands